Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Day Always Rises.

The girl's eyes slide slowly open, the heaviness of sleep still lingering on them. The light filtering through the pale window curtains cuts into her eyes. The world is cold and quiet, at least her little corner is. Her eyes move lazily about her room, as she goes over a list of things to do in her mind. Study for this test. Write a paper for that test. Prepare for this test. Finish project for that test.
She needs a really good grade on this test if she hopes for an A. She has to do well on that test, if she wants to finish the class well. If she has any hope of passing that class she'll have to study all weekend. She has to do really well in all of her classes if she hopes to raise her GPA. Sigh, her measly GPA, how pathetic it truly is. She wants to go to college. Scratch that. She has to go to college. But...how? She doesn't have any extracurriculars, she doesn't work, hasn't volunteered, and life hasn't been any harder for her than anyone else. Will any college even accept her. She doesn't have money saved and really doesn't want to be buried alive in debt when she graduates. Is that possible. Or is college all together a hopeless dream. Her mind whirls over the days worry and work over and over again, feeling the days pressure mounting before her as she slowly comes alive. The day has barely started and already she just wants it to end.

Her future is so foggy. She has no clue what she wants to do or study. Would a year off before college be ok? Another four years of school sounds like hell. She wants to travel and write, and learn but not by the traditional means. What should she do? She yearns for a life out of the ordinary, off the beaten track. But is she just to average, too ordinary, too normal to have it? And how long should she play along with this game of following the american dream? When thats the last thing she wants. how long should she put her family's idea of a wonderful life above her own? And if she does take that chance, make that choice, how would she start? She has no connections, no fortunes, she's not even certain about what she wants out of life.
Her head pounds. She lets her focus slide to something simple, something easy, something far less frightening.
Soft. Warm. Her soft blanket wrapped around her radiates back her own body heat, causing her to draw it tighter around her. She burrows deeper into her bedding. Why bother rising? Is there really much reason to? If her chances are shot before she's made a single move, why bother?

She closes her eyes and breathes in. She wipes her mind clean. She breathes in deep and gathers her strength. And with that she rises.

The world may seem bleak for now,
And the story's end may have been written down,
but no one knows what only time can tell.

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