Last year, I got the stupid notion into my head that my parents had no control over me. I knew it wasn't true and quickly got rid of the bad epiphany. However, it is turning out to be true, and my parents are starting to catch on. Just the other day, my Dad quite plainly told me he didn't know what to do with me, had no control over me and that if I wanted to continue visiting and being his daughter I had to get my act together and shape up. And this past year my mother has been saying they same thing.
They don't know what to do with me.
They know it and so do I.
Their punishments aren't working and I have trouble taking them seriously. There are no incentives they can use, and no material thing I have that they can take away, and I have things set up in a way, that the things I want the most are also necessities. I've done it, I've finally gotten around all their rules.
They know it and so do I.
But now that means I have to be my own boundary, something I'm not very good at.
Their leaving the big choices up to me. I quite literally have the choice and power to direct my own life now. I don't know if I'm ready. I'm not free. I just have more responsiblity. Now the consequences of my own decisions, are going to fall on my head.
They know it, and I'm starting to catch on.
The world is drawing ever near, and I'm not sure if I'm ready.
2 comments:
if you beleive your ready to handle big decisions, then you are. just beleive and you'll be fine :)
good luck
Isn't it nice when you realize that? A little scary at first, but then you finally start being able to handle it... don't worry. It'll be fine.
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