Tonight I feel human...

Tonight I feel human. I dared to hope for something all souls crave. I dared to consider taking tentative steps forward to what draws all humans like moths to a flame. For a small amount of time, I allowed myself to desire that elusive warmth which I consider nearly impossible to obtain. I almost allowed myself to believe that I could lay the most fragile part of myself in someone else's hands.
Almost.
Now I am feeling the twinge of sorrow and longing that accompanies the undesired acceptance that my former belief was true. I won't, probably can't find anyone I could trust enough to do so. So tonight I feel human. And am hating myself for it.

The Rage in Placid Lake

I love this movie. It was downright awesome. The dialogue was witty, the characters original and brilliant and the overall plot an amusing treat. This movie easily won me over.

Hmm...Love & Other Drugs

Hmm, It's starting to seem like I only update when I see movies I wanna write about...Hmm...
Anyways...

This movie turned out to be rather heartwarming. Though it should be made absolutely clear that it's not for kids, it's a 16, maybe 17 & up movie, at the least and even that depends on the maturity. However if you push aside the rather unnecessary (and sometimes explicit) sex scenes, you can find a fairly heartwarming story. To be honest this is probably a pretty good date flick, a bit of porn for the guy, a story for the girl, and enough comic relief to keep them both laughing. It's cute, and though it may not be everybody's cup of tea, the story is worth the watch. Just make sure people to leave the immature kids (and adults) at home.
L8r & Good Night.

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving. ;)

Repo

The music on this soundtrack has been holding my mind and ears captive, since I saw the movie. The movie was amazing, and made all the better because of the music. Anyone who appreciates the violence, and doesn't mind some gore should see it. The movie had me captivated, the ending had me shocked, and the music had me wanting more. Bravo.

:)

Oops. It's been awhile. But now I am 17, this blog has now been with me since I was 14. How cool. Yet, sadly it is barely breathing. Whether I'll let it keep living is still up for debate in my head, as it has been for thee last two years. But for now I'll just be happy I've had it for so long. I hope eveyone has a good labor day weekend. : )

Sorry, Here and There.

Here I'm too soft, too fragile, too boring, I don't know how to do anything right, and too much of a goody two shoes. I don't know anything, and I always look like crap. I'm just not tough enough.

There I'm too harsh, too mean, so not smart enough, and every time something happens it's most definitely my fault, I don't do anything and it's all because I'm too lame, I never live in the real world, and I'm never good enough.

Sorry. I guess.

I'm sorry. That in trying to be nicer, I became softer. I'm sorry that I just can't seem to meet anyone's standards of living life the "right way". I'm sorry that even though I like how I look, I always look like crap to you. I'm sorry I remembered how to cry again. I'm sorry I was always better at entertaining myself than the rest of the world. I'm sorry that I can't seem to fix all your problems. I'm sorry I like to dream up world's and stories of unbelievable places. I am sorry that no matter how hard I try I always fall short of everyone's expectations. I'm sorry I don't value the same things the rest of the world does. I am so sorry that I take forever to do something, because I'm making sure it won't bother the people I care most about.
I am so sorry, that occasionally I like to be just me.

I. am. so. damn. sorry.

Update.

Everything starts this year, for me at least. Currently I am in my hometown, wasting away 90% of my days, to spend 10% with the people I love. I love my family, but I'm bored out of my mind. My dad has to work most of the time, and my sister is agreeable maybe 4 hours of the day in total (and even then your usually skirting the angry defensive temper just below the surface). My grandma, is lonely and bored as well, but she is grouchy and annoyingly reminiscent of things she's told me a hundred times over. And even though I'm probably one of the most patient people in my family, even my patience, can only endure the same story so many times. I love her to pieces, but it's a little hard to deal with her. Though fourth of July was wonderful, due to being around so much family, now it is over, and those who could resume their normal lives, did. While I am stuck in limbo, half-haeartedly trying to entertain myself. I hope everyone else, is having a good summer, and had a awesome fourth of July. Here are some pictures from my 4th of July. :)