Understand.

I am sick of being the one to listen and understand, but I know if I stop, no one else will...

The Day Always Rises.

The girl's eyes slide slowly open, the heaviness of sleep still lingering on them. The light filtering through the pale window curtains cuts into her eyes. The world is cold and quiet, at least her little corner is. Her eyes move lazily about her room, as she goes over a list of things to do in her mind. Study for this test. Write a paper for that test. Prepare for this test. Finish project for that test.

She needs a really good grade on this test if she hopes for an A. She has to do well on that test, if she wants to finish the class well. If she has any hope of passing that class she'll have to study all weekend. She has to do really well in all of her classes if she hopes to raise her GPA. Sigh, her measly GPA, how pathetic it truly is. She wants to go to college. Scratch that. She has to go to college. But...how? She doesn't have any extracurriculars, she doesn't work, hasn't volunteered, and life hasn't been any harder for her than anyone else. Will any college even accept her. She doesn't have money saved and really doesn't want to be buried alive in debt when she graduates. Is that possible. Or is college all together a hopeless dream. Her mind whirls over the days worry and work over and over again, feeling the days pressure mounting before her as she slowly comes alive. The day has barely started and already she just wants it to end.

Her future is so foggy. She has no clue what she wants to do or study. Would a year off before college be ok? Another four years of school sounds like hell. She wants to travel and write, and learn but not by the traditional means. What should she do? She yearns for a life out of the ordinary, off the beaten track. But is she just to average, too ordinary, too normal to have it? And how long should she play along with this game of following the american dream? When thats the last thing she wants. how long should she put her family's idea of a wonderful life above her own? And if she does take that chance, make that choice, how would she start? She has no connections, no fortunes, she's not even certain about what she wants out of life.

Her head pounds. She lets her focus slide to something simple, something easy, something far less frightening.

Soft. Warm. Her soft blanket wrapped around her radiates back her own body heat, causing her to draw it tighter around her. She burrows deeper into her bedding. Why bother rising? Is there really much reason to? If her chances are shot before she's made a single move, why bother?

She closes her eyes and breathes in. She wipes her mind clean. She breathes in deep and gathers her strength. And with that she rises.

The world may seem bleak for now,

And the story's end may have been written down,

but no one knows what only time can tell.

To Believe in Man

The front cover of the book, and a few excerpts, though no color pages would show up

{NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED, all items belong to their respective owners}

To Believe in Man, by Joseph Pintauro and Corita King. I didn't think much of it, when I picked it up, but it caught my attention as the bell rang to end lunch. So I checked it out as I headed out to my next class. The book is filled with random doodles and blots of colorful waterpaint, and lots and lots of scribbly handwriting, with black and white photos here and there. But it was interesting, and once I had deciphered the handwrinting, I fell in love with some of the words, so here are some of my favorite excerpts

Favorite Excerpts-

-Sometimes it seems there's not even a wind for an answer to be blowin' in.

-Our worst ugliness was our blindness to our own beauty

-Remember all those things we used to blame on the devil, and all those things we left up to god?
Now it's all a hundred times more complicated.

-we must become new men or be satisfied as we are...
...either way we risk tragedy

-to believe in man is to eat a tomato that was grown on a fire escape

-...and if we are all sinners, then there are good sinners and bad sinners

-maybe we are less than our dreams would make us,

but that less is more than gods would dream of

-for we have seen if only one of us
decides to pull the plug,
the millions of us can
kiss the world
goodbye
whether we like it or not

-don't forget you are children of the earth

-Don't knock yourself out over
Adam and Eve
And smooth or hairy monkeys
Enter into your own evolution
if you think you're man enough

-if it came out of a woman, man you better believe it

Count me Out.

I'm so glad, I left my hometown. Everyone here, thinks being cool and being messed up is synonymous. I hate it. Almost everyone I grew up with drinks, parties, and does drugs. I am so glad I walked away from here. And every time I ask them why they do it. They give me the same stupid excuse. "Everyone does it." and then they laugh and look at me like I'm the crazy one. I'm sorry but if that's what being a teenager is then, count me out, I just want to get these years over with, so I can really start living my life.

Puzzle Piece Problems.

The world's problems are like puzzle pieces, everyone of the are connected, and in the middle of the problems is the gap for the solution, the key isn't in seperating the problems, for it can't be done, the trick is finding the solution that fits.

Break meet Books.

So? What do you think? I'm trying out blogger in draft's new change the template editor, or whatever it's called. I'm currently on spring break and trying to keep myself entertained. Besides screwing with my blog's background, I have found three books that are turning out to be even better than I thought.

Heist Society: This book has become one of my favorites, I love the characters and plot, I picked it up and could put it down until I had devoured every last word.

Eyes like stars: I'm still working on this book, and though it doesn't completely have me enthralled, I keep wondering back to it. The storyline is fast paced enough, and the characters are amusingly familiar and interesting, to say the least. The way the setting is described makes it a little hard to get my bearings, but the plot keeps me guessing what will happen next. I'm curious to see how this story will turn out.

Two Way Street: I sadly don't quiet have my hands on yet, but oddly enough I can't wait to read it.

So far so good, now to find the motivation to do homework...

Postponed Farewell.

So. I've decided to keep this blog up. No farewells just yet. I really want to improve in my writing abilities, and the best way I know of to do that is to keep writing. A blog is a really good way to continue to doing so. This blog will follow the title more closely, with little to no explanations from now on. Mostly because I am tired of making posts entirely from excuses and introductions, and partially because this blog will be my sounding board for anything and everything that I desired to share. However my blogging shall be as infrequent as ever, because school is a higher priority which demands far more time and attention than I wish it to, meaning my blogging may continue to be monthly at best. Sorry, to all of those who've had to endure indecisiveness. I hope you won't be as disappointed anymore. Later.